
Have you ever wondered what a writer’s day is really like? Well, wonder no more! Obviously, everyone has their own process, but this a typical day for me.
– Wake up early and sleepily make scrawny written notes if I have just had an interesting dream. I have no idea why I do this. I have not used one yet. But at the time, a squirrel who somehow walks on clouds but falls through into ancient Egypt and helps to build the pyramids seems like a stellar plot.
– Make myself the biggest cup of coffee humanly possible.
– Work out. This is essential as a writer’s diet mostly consists of 80% coffee and 20% easy convenient food. Usually Haribo, doughnuts, and rice cakes.
-Shower (even though you work from home, you don’t need the distraction of body odour), then dress as if going into the office. Most writers miss this step, which is how we have a reputation of all looking like hippies or that bird woman from Mary Poppins.
-Armed with more coffee, check emails and social media. Then remind self that we aren’t in this for the money (thank God!).
– Read the last chapter of the book from yesterday. Then wonder how any books are sold at all, but sod it – it can all be sorted with editing (worry about that later!)
– Stare at the blank page while it looks at me with expectation.
– Type, delete, and stare some more. Decide to be productive and make more coffee.
– Look at the character book and contingency board for ideas and various notes you made to prove there is a plot.
– Write.
– Google questions to add detail and pretend you know what you’re going on about. A writer’s search history can vary from how to kill someone with a stick of bamboo to why is wombat poo cube shaped? How more of us aren’t arrested or committed into the insane asylum I don’t know!
– Lunch. This can be at any time from 11am to 10pm.
-Go back to your work. Realise you wrote the word ‘said’ 15 times in 200 words and look up other ways to write it on WordHippo.com.
– Look up dirty words on WordHippo.com like ‘fanny fart’.
– Write but soon get stuck.
– Stare at the page.
– Move around the room trying to figure out how to get your character from point A to point B.
-After 30 minutes, accept you have writers block and go for a walk.
-During walk, find the solution, but as no pen and handy notebook, you repeat your epiphany during said walk in your head and outloud over and over, praying you don’t see anyone. Or scare it away with thoughts like “What if every time you burped, you fainted?”
-Disaster! You see your neighbour who says hi, but you just smile through gritted teeth and march on through your front door.
– You type like a mad person as soon as you get home, then realise you also have to show your characters aren’t robots and need feelings (you forget what these are completely) so consult the emotion Thesaurus (obviously this inanimate object is better equipped to be human).
– Get stuck again.
– Despair.
-After 43 minutes you lose the will to live and call it a day. You are an imposter. Be a writer tomorrow. Vow to write more. Then look at your word Count and despair again.
– Working day done ✔️































