We need a touch of Amidala kick-ass!

I am a Star Wars fiend. Show me something with the epic trilogy, any episode, any strand, and I want it. When I first saw the Padme Amidala comic I got excited. To me, Padme is one of the most under-rated characters of the entire galactic saga. George Lucas thought up great female characters, actual role models who could be diplomatic but hold their own with the boys. As well as a healthy dose of kick ass, Star Wars ladies never lacked femininity and wore amazing outfits! And who wore the best outfits? Padme.

Attack of the Clones should have won an Oscar for Costume Design on Padme alone. But along with an excellent wardrobe, Padme ruled. From just a kid with goth makeup, she out-smarted everyone and showed Chancellors, whole colonies, the entire senate, how its done. She proved to girls you could be everything. Beautiful, smart, loving, diplomatic, understanding and a killer shot with a blaster.

So, with all this in mind, how did the comic stand up? Truth? Although I enjoyed it, it felt like an opportunity missed. Padme has so many layers to be explored, it’s impossible to do this in one issue. It needed a whole series. The end felt rushed, so although I would pass it along, the art I felt was not as strong in the Solo, Obi-wan or Darth Vader series. But its that last word. Series. Give the comic 12 issues, a real shot at a story. Trust me, she can handle it. My girl Padme has taught me she can handle anything.

EXCITING DEVELOPMENT

I During lockdown

During lockdown, people have relaxed. Many have developed an addiction to beer and baking. It is the perfect time to find a new hobby or as most people have, watch everything they can on Netflix. I decided to go a different way. I decided to put myself under pressure.

So, whilst home-schooling three children, who are ridiculous ages to put together (along with one with special needs), I write and publish my first book. A collection of short stories called Isolation Tales.

Everyday I sat out on my front lawn and typed, edited and thought. What if a cleaner became Prime Minister? How brave and hunky are firemen? And that age old question, what time is acceptable to have a large glass of red wine during lockdown? I answered them all, and set all the stories in the crazy world of Coronavirus Quarantine.

I wanted to show the doctors and nurses as heroes and show the Coronavirus for the serial-killing bastard it is.

Now, as I am not horrid or a serial-killing bastard myself (yet-but another 3 months of lockdown might test me), I believe anyone who makes money at a time like this is a plonker. An idiot. An insensitive soul. So all the money that would normally come to me as the author I am giving to the NHS. The workers on the front lines, our heroes in blue.

I know I am biased but the book is good, I am very proud of it. Every emotion under the sun is within its pages, and it really shows our life during this time. It is a scary time (thanks to psycho-killer-Corona), but it is also a historic one. People will think back and reminisce what happened. We are so much more than statistics, charts and numbers. When the future history students look back, they should see the wonder of humanity not just who started it all in the first place.

All the stories are different, like every one of our experiences, so I spoke to a lot of people and researched so I could show how we are all doing. Our days, our future memories.

Hey, if you buy a copy and you don’t like the book, you’re donating to the heroes in blue. Doctors and nurses on the frontline. And who knows, you may really enjoy it. Win-Win!

(I do know someone who is not related to me who has read it twice. So it can’t be that bad. Who knows, the second person could be you! How great would that be?)

Isolated Tales by Melanie Stephens is available exclusively to Amazon all over the world. Paperback £3.89 E-Book £2.99

Isolation Ready Steady Cook Challenge 1

Lets have some fun! Game! Yay!

Everyone knows Ready Steady Cook, and the part of the show where a contestant unveils a bag of random ingredients and the chef has to come up with one of two dishes using all the items in the bag. (if you didn’t know, I have literally just explained it)

So I am going to post a photo of 5 random things from my cupboard or fridge and you have to think about what you would do with them to create one or two dishes. Might make it if I like the sound of it. You might too!

Okay, good luck. Here’s challenge 1:

We have: Runny honey, dried pasta, dark chocolate with a hint of mint, tin of baked beans and some home grown rhubarb.

Lets cook!

Isolation rainbows

So the crisis is global, we all know what we need to do don’t we?

That’s right, paint rainbows! Nothing cures an epidemic like an arc of painted colour. It does bring hope and a reminder of brighter days.

For a mum of 3, it brings joy at giving the little mites something to do whilst I eat from my secret chocolate stash in the kitchen. Most houses have a beautiful single rainbow. “Ah isn’t that lovely” people say as they walk by. I must have spent a bit too much time with my sugar treasure trove because my kids made 22.

22 rainbows.

Problem is we didn’t have the right colours for long as the red paint was running low. So they used brown, teal, and black instead. Mostly brown. So about half of them were shitty rainbows. All of them went up though. What joy the house must bring! Well, at least it will remind people to wash their hands, I suppose.

A Confined Maid of Britain

I started this blog so I could talk about my favourite things as I have bored all my friends and family to tears. I am constantly being referred to as the weird quirky one but its a title I’ve embraced as well as an unhealthy obsession with food, especially doughnuts, pizza and crumble.

I’ve been slack but now as conventions are postponed, comics shops are closed and I have to be inventive with food, your blogger is back!

The way I see it, the news stories about the Coronavirus are like when you pass a car crash-you know its bad, you don’t want to look and find out more but you have to. How bad is it? Can you help? How many are hurt? Is the road closing?

Well, life as we know it is closed. We are confined to our homes, the world has stopped. This scary ass bitch like something from 28 Days Later is here and frankly we’re bollocksed! It is absolutely relentless, even our Prime Minister, the next chap in line for the throne and Forrest Gump have been taken down, thermometers and hand sanitisers have become as precious as diamonds and we are all eating our own body weight in snacks and then doing a PE video with Body Coach Joe Wicks to offset the balance.

The summer bodies have been put on pause, I must admit I am lucky. I have skinny shoulders. Which is how far the neighbours can see (see diagram below). During lockdown, all the weight I consume will be in the southern area. In short, each of my legs and ass are going to be the size of Australia. But the beauty of it is no one will ever know, the window will stop at the good bit. So if you are looking for a good reason to stay in your home, that’s a pretty cunning one. Tricking the neighbours, don’t spoil the illusion, stay behind the window and look fabulous! And then you can do a secret laugh at how your brilliant plan is fooling the world. Genius right? Okay, where are those chocolate hobnobs?

O’ Christmas Tree

In true Cornwall style, my husband and I are very much of the “it’ll be alright” mentality. Basically unless it is broken we will carry on using it until it has fallen apart out of sheer desperation to be put out of its misery due to time already served. I sow holes in socks, our concertina style airer for washing broke up years ago and became a four piece, I have a big cooking spoon with no handle, a flat sieve, and a gaping metal grater.

So, you can imagine our craziness to actually buy a new Christmas tree when ours is fine. Our last one was bought way back in 2002. The first Christmas in our new home. Our house was a lot smaller then, so the tree was perfect for smaller spaces. But we live in a bigger house (have done for the last 12 years) and I really wanted to throw caution to the wind and get a snowy, big tree that is WIDE! It is our Christmas present to ourselves this year.

The old one is going in the play room, plenty of life in it yet (I know we are so reckless!) and the kids are going to decorate it each year. Just one question now remains…can I put it up yet? PPPLLLLEEEAAASSSSEEEEEE!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Estimated Completion: 2029

As many of you know, I turned the big 4-0 in September (celebrations have just ended after being kidnapped for cocktails last Saturday 🙂 ) and so for positivity and a little bit of ambition-anything to stop me thinking about ageing to be honest-I am doing a list.

50 things to do before I turn fifty. I have 10 years to complete it, I also haven’t yet thought of fifty things! Any suggestions are of course welcomed, please place any in the comments box.

I shall add and include dates of updates as I go. Here’s what I have so far:

1, Climb a mountain (apparently Cornwall’s Brown Willy doesn’t count!)

2. Read 52 books in one year (came close but not so far).

3. Become fluent in French. (I know bonjour and merde, so good start)

4. Run a marathon (not an easy task with a need for a sizeable sports bra!)

5. Take a pottery class (I need a good jug/vase/paperweight)

6. Take a life drawing class (you get to see naked people)

7. Eat in a Michelin Star Restaurant- few in Cornwall so hooray!

8. Got to Hays Literary festival (I have a window sticker, but that is all.)

9. Get published (this is my main goal to be honest)

10. Go to a foreign Comic-con (san diego?)

11. Go to Glastonbury (might be easier to go comic con :-/ )

12. Eat foam (there are foods with a foam-never had any-might be able to do it with no.7 🙂 )

13. Drive a Batmobile

14. Act in a panto (just because it might be the only thing they let me act or sing in!)

So, there you go. That’s all I have so far. I need to get more as 50 things to do before I’m 50 sounds a lot better than 14 things to do in 10 years because I can’t think of many right now! Watch this space!

Crumble Math

Number of crumbles using three bears reference: 3. 1 big, 1 medium, 1 little.

Number of ingredients used: 3. Apple, blackberries, Rhubarb.

Number of Apples used: enough to line the wall of China.

Amount of Blackberries: As many as I could forage.

Amount of Rhubarb: As much as my friend, Debs gave me from her garden

Crumble ratio that is spot on but so easy that you can’t believe all your previous toppings tasted like wallpaper gloop: butter x1: sugar x1: flour x2

No. of people eating the crumbles because for some insane reason no one else in the house likes them apart from me: 1

No. of people who are going to be fat enough to play Santa this year judging by all the cream and custard needed to accompany these crumbles: 1. Me. I don’t care. Ho ho bloomin’ ho.

My name is geekgirl and I am a Recipe Hoarder.

Okay, I admit it. I collect recipes, but it has become a problem without me knowing anything about it.

I see a recipe in a magazine or on a card somewhere (okay, it is the recipe card display) and I think, I’ll make that. But honestly, I very rarely do. I have document folders filled to the brim with recipes that I recently found and thought, “oohh! I forgot about those!” but I didn’t even look at them.

I had a special recipe book (with tabs-ooohhh), and in my eagerness to fill it, (considering all the document folders) I googled recipes online and printed them out. Oh the shame! I then stuffed it with papers of recipes, odds and ends, and now years later it has disintegrated so much I have to use a clear pocket to keep it all in as the book gave up.

You might think, well at least no one is getting hurt from all this plonkerness shenanigans you seem to be doing. But that is not true.

I keep this book above my kitchen cupboards and it has fallen on my head, ironically whilst cooking, a total amount of 12 times.

Will I ever cook it all? Get it in a proper system? Ever open the document folders? Time will tell. But that’s what the retirement years are for, surely. I’ll have truckloads by then!

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